Current Study, Fervent

Family, its not about them its about you.

Ok you read the title and you are thinking this girl has lost her mind! I know but I promise keep reading, its not what you think.

Have you ever approached a traffic light…. its yellow and you know its about to turn red and you make the split decision to punch it and plow on through???? No?…… Me neither (#okyeahsure ).

Some times we have to make the decision to stop!!

_Once a year, go someplace you'venever seen before._


This is the only week in the Fervent study that I have wanted to avoid like the plague. I mean I would gladly take the 5lb weight loss of a stomach virus over the lessons and application of this chapter. Family.

We all have those stressed and strained relationships with in our family. Right? If you, like me have varying degrees of relationships with family and you struggle with peace within your extended family then you can I could chat for days. Anger, disappointment, frustration, confusion, unrest all describe different relationships with my extended family. To be completely fair I also have JOY, PEACE, CONTENTMENT, FULL, LOVING, relationships with blood relatives and also with family that God has brought into my life by way of friendship.

With that being said I have put off reading this chapter and writing this post until I’m down to the very last minute. So as I give this a once through approach please be patient with me.

Since I was reading the chapter like a teenager who had been told to clean their room, it took a few times for me to get the nugget that God had left for me this week. What God said so clearly through Priscilla to me was

Its not about them its about you!

Priscilla suggests that maybe your issue with family is with other family members. Maybe the enemy is causing discord in your life through those closest to you in your extended family. This really hit home for me as I was expecting. Here is where God was waiting on me.

Its not about them its about you. Its not about what they are saying or what they are doing its about you and where your focus is. If our identity is in God and God alone, then when they sat that hurtful thing or react that hurtful way then you can call it for what it is, non truth spoken from someone who did not speak you into existence and therefore it just PLAIN DOESNT COUNT.

I have a very strong belief in that people are responsible for their own actions. I believe that people should take responsibility for the things that they say and do and they there in some instances is a need to not “let them off the hook”. People are brave in the cloak of darkness. Light keeps people honest. But we must STOP and realize why the things that they say and their actions are so pointed to our hearts.

Because the one who seeks to steal, kill and destroy has given them all the ammunition that they need to tear you down and keep you there so that you are emotionally unaware that you are, by God, raised up with Christ and seated with Him in the Heavenly Realms. (Ephesians 2:6)

So family. They can be our biggest blessing and our biggest disappointments.


But it is not about them its about you and where YOUR focus is.

_Once a year, go someplace you'venever seen before._1

Is your faith, hope, trust, identity anchored in your Creator?


The one that loved you so much that just at the thought of you said yes they world can not miss our on her/him.

Or is your identity anchored somewhere else? People, career, money?

We must STOP allowing ourselves to be hurt by those that are themselves hurting. We must wake up and decide that living a life without peace is over. STOP allowing that lack of peace to define who you are. STOP arguing with people who you are going to get no where with. STOP allowing hurt and disappointment to fester in our heart and forgive.

We must take back our emotions! We must grab them and run!!!

Run to the King of Kings and the Lord of Lord

Leave them at Him feet.

They will be safe there.


How do we do that?

  1. Through prayer. Through going to Him and saying take it I don’t want it. What I have been doing ISNT working, do a new thing in me Lord, make the way in that desert. (Isaiah 43:19)
  2. Getting in His Word. Planting His love and promises in our hearts. Memorize verses, write them down and stick them everywhere that you work through out your day. I have a co worker that stuck James 3:18 “Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” in her cubby at work. No one sees it be she and I and that verses is a reminder at work and then it follows me home because my mind had written it on my heart as a reminder of Gods promise to us.

Over the past 4 weeks we have talked about the enemy’s strategy of attacking our passion, focusIdentity and now our family. These all tie so intricately together. Woven so closely and tightly that we must constantly be on our guard. In prayer, paying attention to our surroundings and taking anything that feels “off” to the Lord and leaving it at His feet.

I am praying for your sweet friend. If you have in the past or are currently dealing with stressful family situations, know that you are not alone!!! If you would like for me to pray for you I would be blessed to have that opportunity click HERE and fill out the contact form.











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